“ They just never know that when I find the right MAN to be with, I am willing to do anything. Simply saying like: I am willing to stay at home and not even having intention to work at all”
Gue gak pernah suka gosip. Seriously, I would never waste my time for (cheap) gossip. Gue adalah penggemar cerita fakta dan cerita pengalaman. Biasanya sih cerita cinta temen-temen gue. Baik itu sekedar acquaintance atau temen-temen deket gue.
Menarik loh kalo dengerin pengalaman orang lain. Coba deh. Di jamin gak bakal bosen karena lo jadi banyak merefleksi pengalaman orang dan mengambil hikmahnya untuk diri sendiri.
Words up there were simply made when a friend of mine shared about her ex-boyfriend which I thought probably the one who took her heart apart. We were just having this random chit chat and suddenly she popped up with words telling how hurt she was regarding what her boyfriend did to her.
Kalimat di atas cukup menggelitik namun benar adanya. Tidak bermaksud untuk membawa masalah gender in a deep way, but realistically what kind of woman yang tidak mau sacrifice for the one she loves the most (in person)? (We’re not talking about God here).
Mungkin gue gak akan menceritakan pengalaman temen gue plek-plekan di blog gue sendiri. Gue lebih kepengen nanggepin dan refleksi diri gue terkait kalimat yang diutarakan temen gue.
Bagi gue, I’ve come to the stage where my goal is finding a soulmate to live and to die with. I mean literally a husband. At the age of 21, I barely think about finding a handsome guy so I can invite him to go to parties with me and sort of ‘SHOW OFF’ in front of my friends telling how handsome and rich he is. Nah, definitely I am not one of those kinds of person (anymore). I’ve come to a stage where Love is about finding the right person for you to share, to pray with, to read Quran with, to do stupid things, to laugh for any simple things, to cook with, to shop with, to study with, to cry with and most likely to experience everything together. Not on your own anymore. You just have to be who you are and accept him like the way he is. The rest is your both choices to stay the same or to change.
Anyway, sebenernya gue bukan mau nanggepin itu. Yang di atas barusan adalah bagaimana gue menjelaskan tentang cinta. Sebenarnya yang pengen gue omongin adalah kenapa gue juga berpikiran yang sama dengan apa yang temen gue bilang.
“ They just never know that when I find the right MAN to be with, I am willing to do anything. Simply saying like: I am willing to stay at home and not even intend to work at all”
Wanita juga diciptakan untuk memiliki mimpi. Mereka juga boleh mewujudkan mimpi setinggi-tingginya. Gue sebagai wanita, juga memiliki hal yang sama. Mimpi gue adalah bekerja di UN Headquarters in Newyork. By that time, I will also have to become a clinical or social psychologist as well. Iya, iya, mungkin lo bilang kalo mimpi gue terlalu tinggi. But come on. This is a dream. And everyone should start achieving their goals by dreaming it first, right? At least, this is what I believe in.
Until this man came and showed up in front of me to fill my life..
We never know this man is a right person for me to be with or not. But, yes I feel it. Some people said, when someone could actually think about a future with her boyfriend, meaning that he is supposed to be the right person for her. And, yes, this is what I feel about this man. He came up in front of me, telling me with his excitement (I could see it from his face) about his dream. Yes, his dream to work in the service company. He wanted to work in the field or what so called ‘offshore’ (That’s so engineer thing. I seriously have no idea). I was looking at him and wondering, “What if I break his heart? What if I break his dream?” Ah, I would never do that. I don’t know why.
Then suddenly, my brain and my heart got this BIG DISTORTION. Entah kenapa gue pun sekarang jadi bingung mimpi gue apa. Ntah kenapa gue rela untuk menunda mimpi gue hingga saat yang tepat dan berkarir sebagai istri atau ibu dari anak-anak yang Insya Allah ada nantinya. KENAPA DAN KENAPA?? Ntah kenapa, gue merasa, mimpi gue sekarang adalah mewujudkan mimpi calon suami gue. Ntah kenapa mimpi gue sekarang adalah melihat dia bahagia dengan apa yang ia capai. MENGAPA? Sejujurnya gue juga belum bisa menjelaskan ini secara logis. Tapi gue tau, gue bisa menjelaskan ini dengan satu kata. Hanya karena ‘cinta’. Ya, ‘cinta’ emang udah membuat gue mampu bertingkah laku tidak egois dan ngotot untuk mewujudkan mimpi-mimpi gue. Sampai saat ini gue masih bisa bilang kalo gue ingin menjadi sarjana psikologi dan magang di PBB Indonesia. Tapi, gue masih belum mampu mengatakan, ‘gue ingin menjadi psikolog handal dan bekerja di UN Headquarters, USA”. Gue belum mampu. Gimana gue bisa mampu kalau harus tinggal berjauhan dengan dia, orang yang aku cinta? Sampai saat ini belum. Dan, mungkin inilah yang membuat gue turut menyetujui apa yang telah dikatakan teman gue sebelumnya. Bukan hanya dia yang merasakan itu. Gue juga. Dan, mungkin masih banyak wanita diluar sana yang merasakan hal sama.
“Yes, I would do anything..”
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